I Met My Younger Self For Coffee
If you were able to meet with a younger version of yourself, what would the experience be like? What would you say, what would you talk about, or what would you feel? This is based on a social media trend that was inspired by Jennae Cecelia’s poem in her book ‘Deep in My Feels.’
This week, I’m going to share my own personal interpretation. How would a younger me react to seeing 27-year-old me now, sitting across a table from her? Would I live up to her expectations? Would I be able to bring her comfort?
It’s an interesting poem and idea to conceptualize and imagine. So here it goes— my interpretation of a poem, showing how I’d experience meeting a young version of myself.
I met my younger self for coffee this morning.
I was 15 minutes late. She was 15 minutes early.
She ordered a cup of water, always self-conscious about everything she put into her body.
I ordered a triple shot latte, primarily focused on the energy and dopamine boost.
She wore jeans and a sweatshirt, and I wore a t-shirt and leggings.
She had her hair completely straightened, and I let my hair dry wavy.
She told me that she didn’t believe in my future.
I told her that I now know that I have a future, and I know that I belong in the world.
She asks me if I’m happy, truly happy. Not to lie, because she will see right through it.
I told her yes, I’m learning to accept more joy and happiness in my life now. I’m loved deeply, and I’m finally learning how to heal.
She then asked me if every single second of life was still hard to get through. She asked if I still deeply hated myself and judged myself harshly.
I told her yes and no; sometimes that internal narrative overpowers everything else. Sometimes it prevails. But I now know how to reason with it and calm down the storm. I’ve learned that it’s only a coping mechanism, and that it’s not truly me. I’m learning, and I’m now able to stick up for us. We’re strong. It doesn’t have to be this way forever; I (we) deserve calm and gentleness.
She cried. I hugged her. I told her to hold on and that everything was truly going to be okay.
I’ve got us.
You may be in an incredibly hard spot in life, but it is vital to remember that things can change. When life feels incredibly dark and impossible, remember that you are worthy and you deserve to find happiness. It likely won’t happen overnight, but you can heal and cultivate a life that embraces happiness and joy, your way.
You deserve to build and grow that life. I didn’t believe that I had a future, but it’s always been there. I’m not stuck, I’m able to advocate for myself as an adult now and I’m learning to trust myself. Life’s improving and I’m growing.
Always keep growing!
Love,
Kaitlin
